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PunkRawkNate
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Name: Nathan
Birthday: 5/24/1986
Gender: Male
Interests: I play in 3 bands; 5 Holes, My Dying Hero and Passions Lie Dormant. I love playing music and writing it. I also love to sing and play shows. I'm straight edge... Clean Good Fun XXX
Expertise: Playing shows, Guitar, bass, drums and being emo.
Occupation: Research and development
Industry: Entertainment
Message: message meEmail: email me
AIM:  ForeverLastDay
Member Since:
12/19/2003
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| - And we become..... silhouettes when our bodies finally go.
I'm moving.... My new site is IamSoLastSummer
I'm not running or trying to hide from anything. This site is just messing up. Its so hard to just check the comments. But Now I have this new one and I gladly accept any and all of you. I even accept the pain, If you have something to say to me that is horrible and evil, please tell me. Don't leave it traped in your heart. Let me have it and we'll call it a day. Thank you for all coming and sharing your thoughts. I'll be back on here and check my old posts and remember the old times. Chicka wa everyone
Nathan the one moving on.
And thats when we'll explode | | |
| - I begged you not to go
I begged you, I pleaded
Claimed you as my only hope
and watched the floor as you retreated
I am dead..... I went to bed in tears and woke up to feel so cold and alone. Cause thats what I am.... Alone. I felt it so bad last night but I felt it even worse this morning. She left me. Shes gone. I'm back to where I have been for so long of my life. I am dead. no matter how much you can love someone, just because they tell you that they love you back, Just because you feel accepted..... doesn't mean it will work out... doesn't mean they meant it the same way as you.... doesn't mean you are accepted.... I'm dead today.
She wants us to take a break for 2 weeks. So in other words.... 2 weeks of hell. 2 weeks of a home I never want to have to see.... a home without her love. A bullet would have been quicker and sweeter. After the phone call... I just held the phone. She had hung up and I was the one left crying. 2:30 came and still no rest.... just a sobbing mess. She said so many things that hurt so much. I promised her I wouldn't hurt myself or anyone else during my emo depression. I asked her to promise me two things, she wouldn't hurt herself (and she promised it) and that after the 2 weeks, she would come back to me and not to some other guy..... the next thing I heard was the bang and the words became the bullets.... "I'm sorry Nathan but I can't promise you that..." 9 words that felt like 9 bullets... she stopped to reload
So where am I now? I'm broken.... I'm dead..... I'm sorry. Thats it, I'm so so so so sorry.
I'm Sorry I fail you all.
I'm Sorry I'm not the perfect Christian you all have wanted me to be,
I'm Sorry I'm not straightedge enough for some.
I'm Sorry I'm not Punk enough for you.
I'm Sorry I'm so effing emo and I cry so much.
I'm Sorry I can never understand anything.
I'm Sorry for jumping ahead and thinking we where stronger then we where.
I'm Sorry for ever trying to change you Randi.
I'm Sorry If I took you for granted.
I'm Sorry If I ever hurt you.
I'm Sorry I'm sorry if I saw something in you that you don't want to see.
I'm Sorry I am who I am
But most of all... I'm Not Sorry. I'm not sorry for ever meeting you Randi. Take that gun and shoot me more cause I still love you and I will wait this 2 weeks with great exuberance. I will still wait and I will think about you like I always do, all the time. I'm gonna try and win your heart all over again. If I can still call you and talk to you, I'm going to try and start over again. Its not that I don't want to lose... its that I don't want to lose hope. I'm hanging on for hope. And I will be until you comeback to my arms. Even if you are holding some other guy... I will still love you.
Nathan the broken
I am...... sorry
Claimed you as my only hope
and watched the floor as you retreated | | |
| - When I see through the eyes of the One who gave us His Son
And loves us all the same, I can't just walk away
Cause how could I defend when I've got so much to
lend So quick to turn my back to anyone that asks
I wanted to write this long story about how much I hate this guy who I never have even really talked to at all but I won’t. I’m gonna bite my tounge and let it go. I need to change the site again. I need to relax and just breathe.
Well... Just so you guys know that I joined this band a while ago and we are finaly doing stuff. past two nights have been good good practice and we are already ready for a show. I missed emery. Damn. Good things come with sacrifices.
I’m really weird emo right now so I don’t have much to say.. chicka wa
I love Randi
Nathan the dazed
I am Confused. Life is just weird right now. not hot or cold. its just lukewarm. Good things and bad things.... uggh I don’t know anymore. | | |
| - Know things look lovely to you
Holding back, now and forever sweetheart
know things look lovely
lonely boy, it’s midnight and I’ll deny
AAAAAHHHHHAHAHAHAH I CUT MY HAIR!!!!! HELL ya !!! It looks kewl I think. I'll get some pics of it soon. Its a effing foehawk!!! YA I'm just freakn happy and I don't really know why!!!
Today was just fun cause I just cleaned in the back and Monica was asking all these questions about the music I listen to. It was so much fun talking to her cause she is like 40 or so but she likes some of the same stuff I do. And we nicked named Chuck "The Rocket Man" cause hes going to go out with Nacey at work and they are like in there 40s or 50s so Its like cute. Seeing two people hurt by past love and still giving it another chance. Chuck's wife left like 15 years into the marriage and I think thats bs. Chuck is like the most kick ass guy ever. He is so nice and he just loves life to the fulliest.
"I once saw many places, I promised the world and a dozen roses"
I love you saosin... OMG!!! They are playing at Jerrys like the 30th!!!! Yes and Emery this sunday!!! Yell to the sky and sing from the roof tops cause that kicks ass!! I don't know who is going to sing for them but I hope its good. And emery is just so good in concert. But Randi isn't going.... emo sad again.
I love randi. She is the best and I don't deserve her. Even when we get into the small little squables, I just know that everything is going to fit fine cause she is just so awesome. I love her soooo much. I can't wait till everything works out for us cause I'm so damn happy all the time!!!!
I love her
nathan the Lover, not a fighter
You were walking so peculiar like you had something to hide (still so deadly)
Sweet penance for this sound- it might explode in our hands
I am Straightedge. I have never Smoked or done drugs. I have drank only once and I didn't get drunk. I am still a virgin even if I have pushed it far. I hold no secrets. I am a christain and I want to wait for marriage. If I don't, I made it past my goal and I'm so damn proud of myself for making it out of highschool with it!! I'm not radical about Straightedge though. If your not straightedge, I won't hate you. I might worry about you and wish you would become more like it but its not for everyone and I still think the world of you if you don't. I love you all. rock on... | | |
| - And its just me and you, looking at all these things
how am I suppose to breath?
Last night was so amazing.... Everything was just picture perfect. Like.... you could frame that night as one of the best. We went down and saw Randi. I love her so much. We walked around the game and just held each other. It was so great to see her. Then we went to dennys and just bs'ed the night away. After that, we went to her house and played uno. Fun great times. I'm making her something and its going to be sooooo cooL!!! I hope she doesn't think me a loser for it. (like the T-shirt! lol jk) I'm going to go and work some on it or take a nap cause I had to work at 7 and we got back at 2 in the morning.
Nathan the tired.
I am a hungry person. I eat a lot and it doesn't seem to stick to me. I weigh a good 175 but my height takes most of it. I eat all kinds of things and I love to try new things. Like Boca burgers. lol it was pretty good randi. And now that I'm going out with a Vegitarian... its funny. its like weird cause what would our kids eat? Bread!!!!!!
how am I suppose to breath?
Lucky for me, we where laying down
just kissing you, I could pass right out.
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